Macro Recap: Week 4 & Week 5

Week 4: October 1 – October 7

Week 5: October 8 – October 14

These weeks have been WEIRD, like really weird.

Week 4 was punctuated by the marathon, which was awesome! But it made fueling really different. Instead of hitting my normal macros, I added LOTS of carbohydrates to prepare me for race day! I struggled with the reality that a lot of “fun” carbohydrates come with lots of fat, which isn’t ideal before a race… donuts, scones, pastries, cereal, granola… a lot of these things use butters and oils. UGH, YIKES. Finding pure carbs was harder than I anticipated, and I found myself eating Honey Stinger gummies (intended for DURING the race) the night before to get to my carb numbers!! But it was a good exercise in reading labels and being creative!

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My flat runner pre-race^^

However, I could feel the extra carbs do their job on October 7’s race and I definitely could tell why they’re so necessary! My physical body (legs, knees, ankles) gave out before my heart and energy did 🙂

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Week 5 was defined by lots of rest, which was hard for me!

These were my goals:

  • rest
  • yoga
  • sleep

As you can see, after months of training for a marathon, these things felt idle and passive! I had to let myself sit still and take rest days. Thankfully, skipping a workout usually meant more sleep in the morning or evening, which was quite positive. Though I did still feel EXHAUSTED, which I’m blaming on post-marathon feels. Thankfully, my friends and family were so supportive and congratulative. which made it a special week!!

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Some congratulatory flowers!! ^^^

Overall, these weeks have felt frustrating; my weight has been alll over. Honestly, I expected my weight to sky rocket before the marathon, and it DID stay quite steady but it went up AFTER the marathon by a pound or two and that hasn’t gone away. So I stayed really really steady this fifth week, but I felt I was getting more protein and less carbohydrates than usual, which I expected would mean a loss of weight weight… not so. I am still learning the ropes here on macro counting, so I know that this is just bio-feedback. Plus, I wasn’t spot on… I lacked super consistency, and I fought the “celebration” feeling of wanting to indulge post-marathon!

However, the freedom of the marathon ending felt dampened by my macros. It’s been one of the first weeks that I felt very BOXED in by my macros. I know that macros should give me freedom (if-it-fits-your-macros mentality) but instead I wanted to celebrate this week and eat unhealthily and drink alcohol freely and I knew that I couldn’t.

So I leave you with this list… as I’ve struggled with macros, protein is the constant!

Here are some of my MUST HAVES!

  • egg whites
  • eggs
  • chicken breasts (can be kept frozen, so they don’t go bad!)
  • ground turkey
  • some sort of vegetable (snacks, add in for eggs, dinner veggie)
  • lunch meat (mainly turkey! it’s low fat!) (and I like the Whole Foods brand)

The FULLER my fridge is with easy proteins, the happier I am when I get a craving!

Macro Recap: Week 2 & Week 3

I lied!!!! I said I was going to review just week two right now and be one week behind schedule, BUT, that feels hard since my mind is wanting to discuss week three right now since it just ended! As such, this review is going to be a TWO FOR ONE DEAL! And if you haven’t read Week One yet, find that here!!

Week two: September 17th – September 23rd, 2018

Week three: September 24th – September 30th, 2018

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Heeeey and look at me dancing this week at Glossier + A Sweat Life’s event at Morgan’s on Fulton – staying active has made macro counting a lot easier too!! 

And more importantly, I made it 21 days! And I didn’t even realize that until I started writing this post. Then I did some research on if this whole it-takes-21-days-to-form-a-new-habit thing is ACTUALLY legitimate. It kind of is… and it kind of isn’t… apparently this study thinks that it takes 66 days on average, so I’m not there yet!! But making progress. Progress > perfection.

Macros by Percentages

I also like numbers and details to make me feel better about what progress really looks like, so I did a little experiment. I ran the numbers to see how FAR off my macros I was each week ON AVERAGE – this will also enlighten you to how hard it is for me to actually NAIL my macros on a daily basis. In the table below, the percentages are how far away from my target number I was (over or under, so the percentage is simply how off, no matter the direction). This shows progress! Madeline also gave me better guidelines during week three for how to handle the need for additional hunger on days I did TWO workouts, and this orderly way of adding calories was HUGELY impactful.

To interpret this,  you could say the following – for example – “During Week Three, Julia over-ate or under-ate her carbohydrate target of 176 grams by 6.1% on average.”

I’ll also add that my protein goal is a range, so I’m least worried about missing that target.

Overall, this illustrates that as I’ve practiced counting, I’ve gotten better at it. My margin of error is DECREASING. That is how I’ll be counting success as I learn the ropes.

Carbohydrates Fats Protein
Week One 26.7% 11.12% 8%
Week Two 20.1% 14.2% 4.6%
Week Three 6.1% 6.8% 4.8%

5 Tips to Making It 21 Days

In light of the above, I pulled together my thoughts on how to keep on keeping on. I am NOT an expert (obviously), but this is just my two cents.

  1. Admit to yourself your current triggers.
  2. Make it non-negotiable and realize that compromise is key.
  3. Eat protein, eat protein, and then eat protein.
  4. Think about benefits outside the scale.
  5. Drink your body weight in water.

#1 – Admit to yourself your current triggers. 

I have both a social job and a social group of friends. Chicago has a great bar and food scene (and doughnut scene!). What does this mean?  I am HAUNTED by temptation.

The first week of counting macros, I had countless meals out and multiple nights that I tried to include alcohol in my macros. I would feel confident that because I pre-logged my macros, that I would stick to them. This was ineffective for a few reasons. Here is what pre-logging DOES NOT do for you:

  1. make cravings easier to avoid
  2. make “cheat foods” less appealing
  3. make alcohol more filling

When you include alcohol or sweets or “cheats” in your macros, they COUNT towards your day’s calories. Which means that if cookies or a beer is LESS FILLING than a cup of quinoa, you may be hungry. And when you’re having hunger pangs while trying to avoid things that you love to indulge in, this is a recipe for disaster!

My solution to this issue: Admit to myself when I couldn’t trust myself just yet. Say no to a few extra social outings. Eat SUPER clean, filling, nutritious foods for the rest of the days when I knew I wanted to use 50g of carbohydrates for alcohol/sweets/etc.

*I know that for some, the obvious answer may be to give up these things. I cannot exist in a world that makes me sacrifice things I enjoy because it’s bad for my mental state, so this is just my take on how I did it!

#2 – Make it non-negotiable and realize that compromise is key. 

This one kiiiiind of is just an extension of #1 but I wanted to give it its own light too. In my first few weeks, I would willfully go over my macros in situations that I hadn’t pre-planned and tell myself I tried my best. While giving yourself grace is SERIOUSLY VITAL, I was still not really giving it my all in these situations.

Here’s an example: This week I had the chance to have brunch with my friend – and I really wanted to! But I knew that the food she’d prepare at her place would be eggs, sauces, avocado, etc. I mean first of all, yum, and that would TOTALLY be okay, BUT I knew I wanted to eat a MASSIVE cookie from my favorite bakery to celebrate my final marathon training run and I needed at least 20g of fats set aside.

So what did I do? I compromised with myself. She had eggs and bagels, I had half a bagel and one egg, plain. And I brought a big thing of non-fat Greek yogurt and added just a bit of natural peanut butter. That way, I was getting much more protein than if I just ate a two egg bagel sandwich, PLUS I saved myself fats and carbs through being strategic.

I told myself that hitting my macros that day was non-negotiable, brunch WAS NOT an excuse, BUT I could compromise and I still spent a fantastic 3 hours with my friend eating brunch and catching up!!

#3 – Eat protein, eat protein, and then eat protein. 

This one is pretty complicated. JK. Find protein, include protein, prioritize it. It will KEEP YOU FULLER and it will force you to create balanced meals (in my opinion…)! I am lucky to be a carnivore and I see where a vegan – for instance – would struggle here for hitting protein but if you’re like me, animal products (especially lean meats) are crucial.

I honest-to-goodness brought chicken jerky to a sports bar on Saturday to snack on if I got hungry (I also ate a big complex, nutritionally dense meal beforehand!!). The entire bag of this jerky had 2g fat, 18g carbs, and 30g protein!! That was 100x healthier and more filling than anything I could have ordered off the menu, even the salads!

Protein is filling and is KEY for athletes or individuals trying to gain muscle mass, so prioritize it and it will keep cravings at bay!

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#4 – Think about benefits outside the scale. 

Since starting on this journey, my average weight has fallen about 2 lbs. Not bad, I think to myself, and then the doubt creeps in.

Is this worth the mind space? Is this worth the effort? Is this diet actually more balanced? Is this going to be worth it?

THEN – I remind myself how much more in control I’ve felt the past few weeks. Not in a ED sort of way (thankfully!! though I entirely see how macros could be HUGELY triggering for those with an ED past), but more so, I am being CONSCIENTIOUS about what goes in my mouth and how I fuel my life.

I am CHOOSING when I drink alcohol. I am CHOOSING to eat doughnuts when I want them. THIS IS EMPOWERING. I am not a victim to my cravings or to “bad behavior”. I am electing to act with intention when I want those things. That part of macro counting rocks.

So, focus on this part when macro counting gets tough. This element of it makes me believe it is truly sustainable and THAT is thrilling. Not to mention, 2 lbs is exciting and I DO feel leaner than I have in a long time!

FINALLY,  my IBS symptoms have been WAY less intense lately. Say what!! It could be a number of reasons: more Greek yogurt, higher protein, less fats, you name it. But I will not leave this out of a list of benefits macro counting has brought me.

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#5 – Drink your body weight in water. 

Sigh, this advice probably gets so old! Like why do fitness people always say it? I annoy even myself…. but it’s so true. Ugh. When I find myself unusually hungry any day of the week, I usually start to think to myself – damn it, have I had even 20 ounces of water today yet?!

Water is key, it makes everything inside your body work better, so just do it, just drink water. Put lemon in it, put limes in it, drink some sparkling water, add a bit of Crystal Light if you must, but just drink it, kay??

Well, now that I’ve written this novel, I’ll finally wind myself down – BUT please hit me up here or via Instagram if you have any comments or questions, or if there’s a specific sort of commentary you’d like for week four’s round up!!

Macro Recap: Week 1

Week 1: Monday September 10th to Sunday September 16th

For those of you who don’t know, I am counting macros for the first time.*

I add an asterisk there because I haaaave tried before but without much dedication. I am someone who NEEDS accountability to stay accountable, so I decided to join Madeline Moves’ 8-Week Program. If you’ve read Gretchen Rubin’s book The Four Tendencies (which I actually reallllly recommend) I am an Obliger… but I’ll save that for another blog post!

The set-up is as follows: 8 weeks of personalized macros, which can change based on the results of the prior week based on weekly check-ins that also include her weekly feedback on my thoughts, feedback, and experiences.

I sent Madeline my height, weight, and before/after pictures to track the journey! I also took measurements in early August 2018 that I’ve been working against.

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To discuss week one, I decided to answer a few common questions I’ve gotten:

Do you actually WEIGH your food?

She recommends using a scale and being VERY precise about measurements to get appropriately familiar with how much food actually weighs. Since I’ve been a lifelong calorie counter, I actually feel that I have a pretty solid grasp on a lot of serving sizes, so I didn’t get a scale originally but I decided to get one just a few days in, because I wanted to test my knowledge. I also crave boundaries in life, so I like the white and black nature of weighing food. I still eat out too often to measure 60% of my food, but I find that at home, I am measuring more often and liking the precision.

How on earth did you eat 155g of protein?

Eek. This one was SO DIFFICULT for me this week, and I am already doing better week two on actually hitting this number. Before, I averaged about 80-100g of protein a day before this journey, so that’s a LOT of ground to make up! Thankfully, there are a lot of resources out there for new macro counters, so I googled like a mad woman! I ate more chicken in this first week than I thought possible. I also ate lunch meat if I was in a pinch (although I went VERY overboard one day on this, and I woke up the next morning THREE POUNDS UP due to sodium! So be careful, but I still am glad I picked this over blowing my fats and carbs on a snack besides lunch meat.

My protein go to’s on a daily basis:

  1. Vegan protein powder
  2. Collagen protein powder
  3. Egg whites
  4. Chicken breast + chicken thighs
  5. 0% fat greek yogurt

Where to find protein in a pinch?

  1. Walk to the nearest grocery store to pick up Greek yogurt or low sodium lunch meat
  2. Go to a sandwich or salad place and ask if you can have just a side chicken breast (they make look at you like you have 10000 heads, but I did this at the CHICKEN BISCUIT SHOP in my building, which is the last place you’d think I’d find a healthy meal, and their grilled chicken is BOMB!)
  3. Find a Jimmy John’s and order an Unwich with just meat and veggies
  4. Find a breakfast spot and order just a side of eggs (if you don’t need fats, then ask to sub egg whites)

What was the biggest surprise week one?

I found myself naturally improving my diet because I wanted to get the most BANG for my buck. I naturally started cutting out red meat and pork because I wanted to save my fat calories for nuts and eggs, which I simply enjoy more. I also realized that 9 pieces of candy corn have as many carbs as a rice cake, so I started to be way more strategic. I knew that I’d get more volume if I was smart about it, so I started reaching for more vegetables with lots of size but not too many fat or carb grams.

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Honestly, I had MUCH more fun than I expected playing the game of how-far-can-I-stretch-my-macros. There are days I lose at this game and it doesn’t go quite as far as I’d like, but overall, I feel like I’m getting the hang of it.

I realized also how many foods have sugar in them – my protein powder has much more than I realized, lunch meat has more than I thought possible, and fruit is chock-full of them! That last one is probably obvious, but when you’re tracking your foods, you start to notice “healthy” foods that tick up your numbers in areas you’re trying to save grams for the “cheats”… if I eat a whole cup of watermelon at lunch, that’s one less rice cake I could have for an afternoon snack. Not to say you shouldn’t eat fruit, but I learned it’s a balance.

What was the hardest part?

Besides hitting my protein numbers, it was alcohol. This will NO DOUBT continue to be the hardest part. Quite honestly, any time I’ve “dieted” this has been the largest struggle for me. I LOVE social drinking. It makes me happy, I think everyone is a bit happier after a single glass of wine, and I love margaritas more than you could even imagine. I know this is dramatic, but it’s the lifestyle I’ve been living and unwinding these ingrained habits will be hard. I associate weekends with alcohol, I associate celebrations with alcohol, I associate stress with alcohol, I associate brunch with alcohol, I associate football with alcohol… so you get it? While a few of you are probably like, omg this girl needs to get to AA, I think the rest of you probably relate or at least have friends (who are healthy!) with similar associations. I truly don’t believe I have a dangerous problem with alcohol, but rather that it’s ingrained in society for my age group and peer set.

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I don’t have an answer for this one today in terms of this challenge… I think I’ll continue to add alcohol into my macros where I feel that I need to, but perhaps the sacrifice of this action will begin to dissuade me from drinking as often. I already feel that this journey has challenged my social reliance on alcohol and made me question the extra calories, which – although a nuisance – has been very good for me.

Overall outcome: I felt leaner and my body “looked” more toned to me in mirrors at the gym. That said I was exactly the same weight at the end of the first week!!

What other questions do you have?!

Fool’s Gold

I’ll preface this with a couple things:

  1. I usually HATE betting.
  2. I’m uber-competitive.
  3. I love the Irish.
  4. I wrote this in September 2017 and never published it.

On Saturday, my favorite college football team, Notre Dame Irish (#biased #alum), took on the UGA Bulldogs. I’m from Atlanta, so this was a big game for my family and me. Both my parents came in town for the game and we had a ton of family friends in South Bend, IN, as well. It was my first home game this season and it was amazing. There is a magic to Notre Dame on game day that is unmatched to anything else I’ve experienced.

So back to point #1 up there… I have a friend who LOVES betting. On anything. He is one of the most painfully rational people I know and yet, the kid loves to bet. So naturally, I find myself in a discussion on Saturday afternoon while tailgating about whether ND or UGA will win. As an ND fan, I have to pull for the Irish but I ended up doing something I never do: putting my money where my mouth is. Blame is on the umpteenth beer, but I found myself agreeing that I’d owe him $50 if the Irish didn’t win by 5+. There are few things I’ll stake a claim on, but the Irish has always been one of them. The unbridled passion I have for my school awakened the competitive spirit inside me and a bet was born.

If anyone knows the end of this story, the Irish lost by 1. There’s not much to tell, except that we led for a large part of the first half and I was feeling reallllllly good about my off the cuff bet. Instead, we let it all go by the end of the game, and we handed the Dawgs a victory. It was heartbreaking. First of all, because I love the Irish and wanted to see a victory. Secondly, because now I’m poorer… although I have vast plans of finagling my way out of it….

Why do I bring this up? As the game marched on, my friend kept sharing that he was highly conflicted that if he rooted for UGA, he was simultaneously wishing that I would have a less fun day with my friends. Which led of course to an existential debate by me about how I didn’t need to win to have fun. Though I found myself reflecting on my own points as I fell asleep last night and I couldn’t decide if I was being the ultimate contrarian or if I meant it…

Do I really believe that this bet made the loss any worse? Logically speaking, it did, I suppose, but yet, as I watched my team place, I was having more fun because I had skin in the game. I was cheering harder for the Irish because I wanted to show my friend that I meant it when I said the Irish were my team. Not to mention, even when we loss, I still had endless memories of all the people I spent time with yesterday, drinking beers, cheers-ing to football season… so really, win or lose, the day was perfect.

What’s my point? This all left me with a lot of questions: Why am I competitive? Why is winning something that we all fixate on? In the cheesiest way, yesterday’s bet was an illustration to me that winning isn’t everything. I realize I made a point of this to my friend to be a contrarian, yes. My life was no better or worse because I lost… him fighting for the other team couldn’t take away from my joy. So in reflection, this ripples into every other part of my life.

Maybe this is the point: the definition of winning surely isn’t black and white. Not that I don’t have to remind myself this allllll the time, because it’s hard to remember! But I’ve challenged myself to we stop acting as though winning is black and white, because . How on earth can winning be objective when there are countless elements and opinions on what makes something good versus bad. What value does winning for winning’s sake give us?

Where does this leave you? I challenge you to spend this week reflecting on how many times you want to define yourself or your success by a black and white definition of winning. Let’s remind ourselves that a shiny gold medal does nothing to illustrate the blood, sweat, and tears that taught whoever came in second place a lot, too. Sure, we are players in a world where there is usually a clear winner and a clear definition of victory. But that doesn’t mean that we have to subscribe to the way this is supposed to make us feel. We have to define for ourselves what winning is and how we can win in more ways than just “won” (pun intended 🙂 ).

HAPPY HUMPDAY!

Pop Physique {NYC}

POP PHYSIQUE (thanks for being my guinea pig with me, Katie Wilson‼️)

 

Class Title? Pop Physique
Location? Nomad – 26th Street between 5th and 6th.
Instructor? Sarah E.
Length? 60 Minutes
Style? We started with warm up, including static stretches. Then the sequence moved through different parts of the body. This class relies a lot on small pulses and barely there movements to get the muscles BURNING 🔥🔥 Arms, quads, glutes, and abs. Pop Physique uses props which I like! For abs, the squishy pink ball pictured (this ball gets the burn going!). It was VERY similar to Pure Barre – almost identical.
Likelihood of Going Back? 50%
Cardio: 5%
Weights: 20% (only used for arms)
Abs: 25%
Resistance Strength: 50% 💪🏻
Music? 7/10
Apple Watch Calories Burned? 300
Average Heart Rate? 111 💗
Most similar to?
Bar Method
Pure Barre
First timers sign-in time? 5 minutes
Towels? Yes
Locker rooms? No – two single bathrooms.
Self-locking lockers? Yes – in the main lobby.
Location + layout? It’s on the right side of the street when coming from the east! The building is currently under construction and we almost missed it, but a girl coming out clued us in! It’s on the second floor so you feel like you’re walking into a construction site – keep going up to the second floor and suddenly, it’s like a chic loft! The door opens straight to the front desk with two classrooms – one to the right and left. We were in the classroom overlooking 26th street. We loved it. Honestly, the biggest difference between this studio and Pure Barre is the decor – more trendy New York loft than ballet studio.

EverybodyFights {NYC}

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Class Title? RoadxStrength
Location? Midtown Manhattan – 41st between Madison and Park
Instructor? Leo Wright
Length? 60 Minutes – 40 minutes of “timed work” with transitions, cool-down, etc.
Style? 4 intervals of ten minutes – 2 on the treadmill with hills and sprints + 2 of strength training work on the floor with weights and kettle bells
Likelihood of Going Back? 75%
Cardio: 50%
Weights: 30%
Abs:  20%
Music? 9/10
Apple Watch Calories Burned? 533
Average Heart Rate? 131
Most similar to?
Orange Theory
Torch – Studio Three (Chicago)
Shred 415 (Chicago)
First timers sign-in time? 5 minutes
Towels? Yes
Locker rooms? Yes
Self-locking lockers? Yes
Location +  layout? Enter off 41st between Park and Madison on the South side. Walk down a flight of stairs. Graphics on the stairwell serve to amp up visitors with a changing marquee board that guests see first. Down the stairs, you enter a basement type space with locker rooms straight ahead and front desk to the left.  Beyond desk further to the left there is a private boxing bags room, an open space with two boxing ring in the middle, and a half closed off room with treadmills and rowers (where my class was).
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Summary

As a fitness junkie who follows fitness accounts across the country (and world – hello @Kayla_Itsines), I usually feel decently apprised of upcoming and coming studios, health events, and go-to sweat sessions. Everybody Fights was one of those places for me once I moved to NYC. When I first moved to the East Coast, I intentionally started following more NYC based Instagram accounts to catch up on just what I noted above and one of these accounts – @LeanFitChristine – did a picture and review arc featuring EverybodyFights a handful of times, and my curiosity was piqued.

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Now, I am not shy about expressing my love and enjoyment of finding very bougie gyms – if Equinox wasn’t so expensive, you’d find me there on a regular basis – towel service, spa-like feeling, sauna, these things all win a lot of points in my book. And when I walked into EverybodyFights, I didn’t quiteeeee get that vibe. But that was is okay – it’s claim to fame is to be a full-service boxing gym, not a spa. And it’s facilities were neat – creatively designed and intentional, elevating the mood and environment. I was pleasantly surprised, too, by the locker rooms. Spacious, clean, plenty of lockers and basic hygiene products provided.
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The Class
I’ll admit that the layout is kinda all on top of each other – there are various classes that go on at the same time, so when I walked in at 7:10pm for a 7:20pm class, there was a lot of commotion happening in the main space (where the boxing ring is) due to a cross-training class. To get to the RoadxStrength class, we had to skirt the edge of this main room to get to the back room where there were treadmills and weights. It definitely wasn’t quite spacious but adequate. I jumped on a treadmill (of which I was a huge fan – the kind with all the # buttons which makes sprints really easy – top shelf stuff) and within a few minutes, class started. Our instructor Leo Wright seemed to be setting up the tvs that were intended to show the workout and have a timer, but then it seemed to freeze up – that or the tvs are used for other classes and he was navigating out of that interface… it was unclear. Though I’d argue that it may have been helpful to have visual cues in addition to his vocal ones. There were confusing transitions at moments. They offer tons of other classes (including their signature with boxing incorporated)! Check them out here: EverybodyFights Website. I am definitely interested to try more.
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The class itself – all that nonsense aside – was awesome. Broken into four sets of 10 minutes. I started with treadmill work that consistently of sprint intervals on a flat ground and then my third interval was running while the incline changed – gave the class a good variety and I clocked over 2 miles of running in class and it feels good to cover true distance than just jump on and off the treadmill. My second and fourth intervals were on the floor for full body weights (2nd) and then abs/arms (4th). I felt good and sore by the end of each period.
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One note I had was regarding suitability of related exercises, given that we each had only one kettlebell. As we transitioned between body parts and exercises, I felt like I needed heavier or lighter weights which made having just one inconvenient. There are a handful of studios I’ve been to in Chicago (Studio Three, I love you) at which each floor set has a full set of variety of weights – or at least students are encouraged to set their station up like that. Given that the floor stations at EBF aren’t static, I could see where logistically this wouldn’t work for them but I was frustrated with having one 35 lb kettle bell for Goblet Squats that they I was supposed to use for Under the Leg Passthrough Single Leg Lunges (…for sure just made this name up…). It’s unrealistic and could be confusing to people new to weights. My advice? Encourage students to grabs a series of weights so they can switch between for certain moves and cue them as to which they should try and go heavier or lighter.
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On this note, fitness education is a big priority and interest in mine. As such, another note of concern I have is that this may not be ideal for beginners who do not make their newness expressly know to the instructor. Due to the various levels of activity happening during this class, there wasn’t always one-on-one coaching given for form each move. Leo definitely did his best to walk around and make sure people weren’t injuring themselves, but I could see where a fitness newbie would have felt in over their heads with the variety and complexity of moves – or at least transitioning a bit slower between sets.
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Any negativity aside, Leo was a fantastic instructor, memorable and inspiring. You can teach cue-ing and format – you cannot teach passion and he had that in spades. He took his role as encourage-r and motivator incredibly seriously and I would go out of my way to take more of his classes. As we left the class, he pulled everyone together for a team send-off that I’m assuming is a studio signature move and then – he shared with us that our devotion of the day should be “to love.” That may sound cheesy or out of place, but as we all were huffing and puffing, inspired by the physical heights we’d just reached personally, his devotion felt incredibly appropriate. He shared briefly that we all should keep in mind that in a world full of hate, we have to stand for love, that at the end of the day, our greatest enemies do not lie outside of us, our greatest enemy is the version of ourselves we think we are or have to be. If we can stop looking at our neighbors as enemies as instead look upon then with love, the world could have a bit less hate. I can always get behind a fitness experience that ends in more than just a pat on the back for burning a few calories and EverybodyFights was there to deliver. 

THE PUNCHLINE ABOUT LOVE AND LOSS

Love is not hard, 

loss is hard, 

and it only gets harder

when you refuse to accept that someone who is willing to lose you isn’t the one who really loves you.

A friend of mine sent this to me yesterday. She’s been going through a hard break-up that’s turned a bit into a yo-yo relationship. The kind where you still find yourself texting a butthead at 11pm on a Friday night. The worst kind of break-up where it doesn’t actually break but somehow leaves you broken. When you’re unable to detach yourself from a person who came to hold a piece of your brain space for a day, a month, a year.

I’ve been thinking a lot about love and loss recently. I moved to the east coast from Chicago in June and it’s been a whirlwind. I joke openly with everyone who asks about “HoW aRe YoU dOiNg” that it’s like being a part of a social experiment. Someone should probablyyy be filming and/or recording this madness cause half the time I feel like I’m living someone else’s life. There are days reality feels like it’s suspended, and you’re not sure if you’re being your authentic self or not, but you’re pretty sure you want to land on your own two feet at the end of the day, so flight or fight mode saves your a$$ more times than you thought capable. Like a cat with nine lives, moving to a new city by myself has been the greatest adventure I’ve lived to date, some of the highest highs and the lowest lows. It’s amazing what the human mind is capable of when you challenge it.

More, the move illuminated to me what it means to support people you love and those who become a loss. Those who were willing to let me pass from their lives, who relied so much on proximity and convenience (more than you even knew!) to build and foster a relationship, who waved farewell and said see you maybe… but better, the move showcased to me those who showed up even more regularly – the people who sent flowers, called when I texted emotional things, emailed me during the work day, sent memes and tagged me in Instagram posts just to say hello. These were the true heros of this story, the supporting roles in this adventure tale that actually fell into the spotlight.

It all actually made me think long and hard about my love languages. If you’ve never heard of the 5 Languages of Love, I highhhhhly recommend a study (http://lifehacker.com/how-the-five-love-languages-can-help-you-win-at-relat-1734348074). Take the quiz and learn yours – it makes understanding your feelings hella easier for both you and those you love. Communicate about it. It may change your life. In my experience, my languages of love are – for sure – quality time and words of affirmation.

BUT when you pick up your life and move thousands of miles from your best friends and the only roots you’ve had for the past three years, how do you get these things out of your relationships? There’s no meeting up for coffee, there’s no happy hours after a long day of work, there’s no long lunches to rant about the most recent office drama. This was my dilemma! This is the part of moving that you think about and reflect on and the thing that people who hear you’re moving ask about (“But do you even have any friends out there on the east coast?!?!), but you roll your eyes, and you tell them you can handle it and make it work… and you know it will be hard, but you’re a big girl and you know to to put on your big girl panties and make it WERK…. BUT you don’t know until you live it how bizarre it truly is!

I wrote a week ago about getting outside your comfort zone (What came first? The chicken or the egg?), about needing to throw yourself in the deep end to realize you can swim after all. It’s allowed to be hard. And in the case of  this move, it’s a transition. It’s a new normal. It’s finding new friends to go out with in a new city {and making the best of a bad situation when you get the the pizza place at midnight on a Thursday and its closed… commence tears}, it’s learning the working style of new coworkers and figuring out an office culture that isn’t your own, and it’s sometimes going to the gym on Friday night by yourself and being totally okay with it.

BUT HERE IS THE PUNCHLINE ABOUT LOVE AND LOSS: When you step outside your comfort zone, you learn infinite amounts about yourself, but also about YOUR RELATIONSHIPS! I have been wowed in finding who truly loves me enough to make me feel that I’m getting quality time and words of affirmation from afar. The creative, beautiful, optimistic friends who somehow are willing and able to make me feel affirmed and seen and heard from cities and states away. My parents for asking to fly me home for a long weekend to spend time with them. The friends that have made me feel like there’s no space between us at all. Friends who find a way to speak your language of love when you need it most. Now THAT is an amazing feat. THAT is the highlight of this social experiment thus far. That is what happens when you step outside your comfort zone. You get to see that LOVE IS LOVE no matter the miles, space or distance. How f!%king cool is that?

So where’s this leave you? I’m not sure. How does this make you feel? Where are you on your love and loss journey? Maybe reflect on that… more, reflect on how you speak and act love to those around you. My love language is surely not the exact same as all my family and friends’ but yet our relationships sustain (well the good ones do…), so there is a flexibility and willingness that must be threaded into this journey of love to make it work.

So find out where you are on this journey:

  1. Figure out your languages of love
  2. Reflect (and I would recommend journal!) about the people in your life who show up when you’re living outside your comfort zone
  3. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE – show love, exude love, expect love, settle for nothing less than love
  4. Find great quotes like the one at the top of this post (and then send them to me… I’m a SUCKER for an inspirational quote…)
  5. Go to the gym on a Friday alone instead of going out (lol… but for real, who needs Moscow Mules when you can have endorphins, #DBFTFitGuide looking at you)

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

So I went to a networking event last night with Ryan Lee (www.ryanlee.com) as the speaker. The event started at 6:00pm, so I showed up fashionably late at 6:10pm {Note: Nude Lipsense & Bouganvillea Gloss FTW} and was promptly told that Ryan wouldn’t be speaking until 7:00pm. Cue frowny face…. you mean “I have to talk to these strangers for an hour?” I wanted to ask? Then I thought better of alienating this poor event coordinator and assumed the answer was probably YES. Thanks Mom and Dad for instilling manners in me…

Now, you may be asking yourself why I would attend a networking event and not want to talk to people. I don’t actually have an answer… It’s like when you look down at a plate of spinach and wonder why you’re torturing yourself but then, you KNOW it’s good for you so you choke it down anyway. Plus, usually showing up is half the battle, and then auto-drive kicks in and I somehow find myself talking up a storm to a slew of randos.

BUT THEN! The coolest part: I meet a bunch of really dope people. The event itself is a monthly meet up of entrepreneurs and small business owners and the topic of the night was online marketing and sales. Bingo! Could this have been more well-timed in my life?! As I start down this Senegence path, it was EXACTLY the spark I needed to get my mind spinning and brainstorming. I spoke to SOOO many passionate people who have been on journeys of starting businesses and struggling with businesses and juggling businesses and failing at businesses- the whole nine yards. {Note: I met a small business owner who started a fitness and wellness organization – she said eggs are her #1 health food recommendation. Bad news, she was not able to tell me if the chicken or the egg came first, so I’ll keep you posted when I find out…}

More than the above, Ryan Lee was just such a sick speaker. I am a sucker, A SUCKER, for a good speaker – I mean, I am the target audience for enthusiastic people who want you to drink the kool-aid they’re selling, I will alwayssss buy it (prime example: here I am with almost a million tubes of Lipense! I kid, I kid… I don’t regret it for a second!). But truly, I already subscribed to Ryan’s daily email, and I look forward to learning more about his take on starting an online business presence. And if anyone needs proof that I was jazzed AF after this event, you can ask Whitney Gardner who received a bunch of Facebook voice messages as I drove home from this event in which I used the word “excited” no less than 88 times. Oops. But hey! I am excited!

What’s my takeaway here? Just show up. Just try. Just eat the spinach! We all think about getting outside our comfort zone. And it’s so. freaking. scary. And then somehow you push yourself into the deep end and you realize you’re swimming! People are so resilient and passion is contagious. Do the hard thing. And live to tell the tale.

What are you going to do now? Let me know what you did recently that was way outside your comfort zone and scared the sh*t out of you! Or let me know what you WANT to do – and I will push you into the deep end so you realize you can swim! Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me! Sure, let’s be real, I sell Lipsense from this blog and yes, I want you to try it, but I also just want to use this platform as a fledgling entrepreneur to LEARN about people… to hear new stories… to experience things from different walks of life… every time we step outside our comfort zone, it becomes easier to show up the next time. It’s just as much for me as it is for you!

Happy Friday, kiddos! We (almost) made it to the weekend! If you’re in need a good weekend color, hit me up here. I’m feeling it’s gonna be Dark Pink kinda Saturday…

xo,

Julia